My public argument is in the form of a prezi. I like the visual appearance of the presentation, but I think it could use a little more substance. Some images would probably be helpful, but I'm not sure what sort of pictures would hellp my audience. As you read each slide, be sure to comment on what you would like to see a picture of. For example, if I describe something that you think would be helpful to see, tell me. Also make sure my wording sounds okay and understandable. Finally, I'd like you to tell me if my argument was convincing enough. I let the facts speak for themselves, so let me know if I should be more explicit with my argument.
Also, it is important to note that Prezi does not allow commenting. So please provide comments on this draft on this blog post. Please refer to the slide in question when making a comment.
To view my draft click here.
In my opinion, as far as your punctuation goes, you do a good job of following the rules. The layout of your project is easy to read and catchy to follow. In terms of the amount of information you provided, I have no comment on that. What I believe instead is that if you provide enough information that addresses the deep issues involved with your public debate, your project is successful. I might be wrong in saying this, but providing tables, graphs, or visuals from your sources might look even give your project the wow factor. If the quotes that you use have visuals related to them, using them in your presentation may be helpful for readers to turn their attention to them first and then read the information related to them. This might seem wordy, but if you were to make some bullet points longer, providing more information, this could help make the different argument points come across in a better fashion. I personally did not see many grammatical errors that needed to be fixed. Overall, just fixing any formatting or wording that you believe is necessary for a better project is up to you to decide.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your prezi layout, as that is how I am doing my project as well. I first went through the presentation looking for punctuation errors, and I did not see any substantial ones that I remember, so good job on that. As you suggested, I do believe your project could benefit from more substance. By that, I mean pictures. You and I are in the same boat as it is hard to come up with informative, professional photos for our topics, but anything you can find and add would help a lot I think. This will help smooth out the formatting and make it easier on your audience to read and understand (who doesn't love pictures)? I think your transitions are all in the right spot and do a good job of switching between arguments. Overall, it looks nice and I like how you went with the prezi rather than a normal paper. The one big suggestion I have is possibly try for a better conclusion. Your last argument drops off right into works cited, and I feel that a solid conclusion slide would do a good job of summing everything up for your audience.
ReplyDeleteExcellent presentation. Made me realize another way of presenting data I hadn't looked at. There could be more use of data/information to help push your points, but what you have would work great in conjunction with an oral presentation. Good grammar, good punctuation, stuck to your thesis throughout. The end was a little of a let down, thought you would really drive it home. May need to look into more emphasis and firm statement. Overall though, very nice.
ReplyDeleteExcellent presentation. Made me realize another way of presenting data I hadn't looked at. There could be more use of data/information to help push your points, but what you have would work great in conjunction with an oral presentation. Good grammar, good punctuation, stuck to your thesis throughout. The end was a little of a let down, thought you would really drive it home. May need to look into more emphasis and firm statement. Overall though, very nice.
ReplyDelete